Wedding Bells with Foreigners

[Antonio]

A few months ago I remember seeing an article about a 21 year-old Vietnamese woman being auctioned off in a Malaysian marketplace. According to the Chinese-language daily Guang Ming, the woman offered herself for sale during a morning market in a village in Gombak, on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur. She came to the village with a 40 year-old peddler who made the offer on her behalf.

Apparently the woman volunteered to be sold because she had been in Malaysia for some time and had used up all her money. The auction went for 4 hours and the final bidder was placed by a 60 year-old Malaysian man. It was unclear whether the Malaysian man intended to make her his wife, surrogate daughter or maid.

Marriages between foreigners and Vietnamese women "must be on a voluntary basis and obey the laws" in Vietnam. Yet it appears illegal marriage brokerage still exists in Malaysia.

When I was in the Philippines, I was offered USD 20,000 to marry a local so that she could live in my country. Politely I refused, but I'm sure there is a market out there for such practices.

[kdavid]

In regards to the business of "selling marriages", I'm sure everyone is familiar with the "Russian Bridge" concept. It's quite common to find women who independently have a lot of money, or whose parents have a lot money, and want to find a foreigner to marry their daughter so that their daughter "can have a better life."

A girl I dated in college, whom I've kept in contact with, is currently dating a guy who fell into one of these traps. He was offered $5,000 USD to marry a girl he met while backpacking through Europe. The catch, however, is that they can't get divorced for something in the ballpark of 10 years without facing criminal charges. Now, though this is all hearsay, I wouldn't be surprised if the US government had made some sort of law to keep this practice from developing.

Asians, I've also found, are quite business-oriented in regards to marriage. The Vietnamese, from what I've heard, tend to marry more so for what the partnership can and will bring them in the future, instead of love.

[asun2]

I'm not sure about the story of Vietnamese girl auction herself off somewhere in KL, been away from home for quite awhile but there are many so called Matachmaking center, which offer foreign wife i.e. from Vietnam, Thai, China etc to local Malaysian men for a fees ranging from RM5K(USD1.5K)-RM15K(USD4.5K). The center provide catalogue which shows photos and details of each women for their prospective customer to choose. Most are chinese bachelor or divorcees in their late 40s or so, who have difficulty finding local wife. This also happen in Singapore and from what I heard even in Japan.

[kdavid]

I wouldn't be surprised is this type of business really took off within the next 10 years. I forgot the exact numbers, but within the next 25 years there's going to be something like a 1:3 ratio of women to men in major developing Chinese cities. It will create quite a serious problem in regards to prostitution and problem such as above.

[kdavid]

Whoa, I was way off. Here's a recent article from chinadaily.cn:

'Wife shortage' to hit nation in 2020s

The number is actually about 100:138 by the 2020's. So, for every 100 men that find a wife, 38 won't.

Right now in China there are 37 million more men than women, and that number is growing.

[gfell]

Well lucky the women then as they can pick and choose more. Why is there more men than women? What happens at birth? I have a feeling that the Chinese prefer to have a male kid to carry on the family name. Do I sense some foul play if your kid is a female?

[exported_kiwi]

gfell, in China, a male child is preferred because traditionally, males earn more and can look after their parents better in their old age.

This attitude is changing, but not fast enough because of the traditional thinking. The imbalance is going to cause major internal problems in China in the very near future. My fiancee is Chinese and sometimes, the extremely hostile looks I get from local men is unnerving! My lady says to ignore it though because usually, they're migrant workers, away from home and usually, and sadly, uneducated. China is still a very traditional society and filial responsibility is now, believe it or not, a requirement for some jobs and only a male child can earn what's needed to support the parents, so it's thought.

I doubt if there's any foul play involved, just cultural and traditional values at play.

[gfell]

Yes, you are right. Only God dictates whether it's a boy or girl. And according to stats, God dictates there are more boys born than girls.

According to the Library of Alexandria:

An interesting aside of Female/Male Differences is the relative populations of each. In general, male's are born slightly more often than females. This may be due to the fact that males are slightly less healthier than females, and also tend to be more likely to be killed in their work or what not. There is, of course, the possibly outdated concept of "women and children first".

[kdavid]

I can relate a lot to kiwi's post in regards to the evil looks us foreigners with Chinese significant others. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that resentment like this will only grow in light of the recent statistical finds.

[exported_kiwi]

Sadly, I have to agree with what you've just said. But I'm not giving mine up, no sirree! I've worked too damn hard to "educate" her and have paid out too damn much money to maintain her so I'm holding on to her, the fact that I adore her notwithstanding.