Chinese women and white men

[nelsonr]

I suppose many of you have noticed it too, but when I started my first teaching assignment in China, I always noticed more Chinese women with white men rather than Chinese men with white women.

Why is that? Do white women not like Chinese men? I can only assume that Chinese men are too feminine for white women.

[Billy]

Perhaps western women see Chinese men as too feminine. In fact, not only Chinese men but most Asian men would be smaller in frame than what white women have had in the past.

White women want a masculine man! Hope my comments aren't too cruel, but that's just the way things are - Asian men are naturally small in build.

[inchina]

agree! Chinese people say 'ding!ding!'

[worldtour]

I don't think Chinese men are feminine, but many are somewhat effeminate. There really is a difference. Perhaps you have never been to Harbin where both the men and the women are quite tall, and many are not slight at all. I think it is really more of a cultural issue. No one can deny that the Chinese woman has many qualities that we desire. I think it is quite difficult for western women to forge a relationship with Chinese men although I do see it. If there are any Chinese men reading this here are a few tips that in my view may help.

First, in the west it is somewhat unusual to see men who are so "touchy feelly", and this is quite common among Chinese men. Now this is as much the western man and womans problem as anything regarding the habits of friendship between men. In other words, many westerners view that kind of touching as a bit gay. You will see many men embrace in friendship but not many walking down the street with there arms around each other in the west. So this I'm sure adds to the perception we are talking about. I feel that many Chinese men have a sort of macho attitude, even if they are short and slight in stature. I think the bottom line is, it is really just our perception that they are not as manly, since the difinition of manly varies in different cultures. You may not think a Scot in a kilt is feminine as he throws a huge stone.

I do, however, think there is alot of androgynous men and women in China. Many women wear the same short cropped hair just like a man. I don't feel it is very feminine, and many men have styled hair that is much the same as some women. Many Chinese may think I look like a woman as I prefer to wear my hair long as a badge of my generation. I think I look manly as I pull it back and it looks much like a short hair cut until you see the ponytail. It's all about cultural perception.

Worldtour

[Margy]

Thanks for teaching me a new word worldtour!

One thing I'm lacking is a rich vocabulary.

effeminate:

1. Having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men. See Synonyms at female.
2. Characterized by weakness and excessive refinement.

Japanese men are very very shy when it comes to dating. It will take them months to grab a woman's hand. Western women want a more pro-active man, someone that leads the way rather than always scared about what to do.

[exported_kiwi]

Ok, this is subject I know a little about coz I have a Chinese girlfriend who, after 2 years of holding hands etc, will become my wife later this year. Her opinion on the matter is that western men tend to look upon the Chinese women as more submissive and are more likely to be good home "executives".

Chinese women tend to look at western men as being more able to 'maintain' them in the lifestyle to which they'd like to become accustomed. Some Chinese women merely see the western man as a ticket outta here! I've met a few of these and it'd pay to stear clear of em! Mine is neither of these types. She's highly educated, very very sharp minded and quick. She's also a stunningly attractive woman and an excellent partner in every way....except her moods, but that's not just Chinese "thing" is it!

My opinion on it all is that Chinese men don't earn enough to satisfy a western woman, not the way we're bought up. Chinese women are a whole helluva lot more tolerant of their mans' "activities" than a western woman and so are more conducive to a harmonious and peaceful life. They aslo don't want a whole tribe of kids either...definite bonus!

There ya go Nelson, just my 2 cents worth....good luck!

[nelsonr]

Congratulations exported_kiwi on your upcoming wedding! Am happy for you. For me, I'm still waiting to find the perfect woman.... if there is such a woman that is.

Originally Posted by Margy

Japanese men are very very shy when it comes to dating. It will take them months to grab a woman's hand. Western women want a more pro-active man, someone that leads the way rather than always scared about what to do.

I think it's very true what Margy says.

One thing I have noticed about Asian women is that they are all sweet on the outside and look like they wouldn't hurt a fly. But if you get to know them and date them, then they can turn into a raging bull. Scary! But I suppose we all have our flaws. The biggest attraction for me is their small frames and submissive nature.

[exported_kiwi]

Yeah, Marge is right too. You're right also regarding the women here turning into a raging bull once you know them...couldn't agree more as I've had experienced it first hand, but love, they say, is blind and we have to be semi-blind to our other "halfs" faults.......and believe me, I am blind to most. One I cannot tolerate is her sitting next to me while eating, chewing with her mouth wide open and making the same volume as a pride of Lions would after the hunt....gross!!!!!!!

Still, good luck to you...and submissive, ummmmmmmm, maybe in the provinces but don't hold your breath dude!

Just my two cents worth...yet again!

[Raoul]

I could go on for weeks about Chinese women but I won't for now. There's a common saying here..."Chinese women make the world's best girlfriends...and the world's worst wives." I have found considerable wisdom in this saying. Once married, Chinese women seem to feel this overwhelming compulsion to micro-manage every second of your life...and will not tolerate non-Chinese ways of doing things. They tend to be very clingy and very paranoid.

Through my forum I know a lot of expat women living in China...and virtually none of them want much to do with Chinese men. I don't think "effeminate" is accurate or relevant; it's more about behavior and attitudes toward women. There is also a lot of talk about, uh, physical shortcomings among Chinese men...

I must point out that there are always exceptions to all these things...