International Marriages

[waixingren]

I'm in an international marriage. It's not the easiest thing the world (thank you visa laws). But I certainly don't regret it.

I do have to disagree with the great writers and linguists who always said that the easiest way to learn a language is in bed... I haven't learned much from my wife even though she's a good Chinese teacher.

[ilc chachapoyas]

Originally Posted by Vanessa Marlin

I just wondering what others think of an International Marriage? Do you think they are stronger than marriages of the same nationality?

I'm quite alarmed that as the years pass, more and more are opting for divorce whether the marriage be international or not. My parents went thru the tough years and came out smiling in the end. I think we need to all have more patience and effort in our marriages.

I've listed a poll. Would be interested to seeing everyone's response.

Thanks and have a great weekend!

i think is nice because you never know for example i met my wife in the square of chachapoyas,Peru
she is from england we have different culture but only one feeling " love"

Fideliño

[karlw66]

Hi Y'all,

Think I voted for "love is love....." etc because, well, one never knows who/how/why and ain't nothing wrong with that imho.

Actually, my (we're both kiwi's) wife & I are about to divorce after a little over a decade. S**t happens regardless of cultural similarities/differences etc etc......so, if "love is love......" - "Divorce is divorce........" Meaning, that's life and things (good, bad & indifferent) will happen within ANY relationship cross cultural or not......

[AdvantageEnglish]

I'm Australian and married to a Japanese woman.
I'm a Japanese and English language teacher; I've lived in Japan for 6 years and I love everything about Japan. I wouldn't call this Otaku and it's not a passing obsession any more than a person obsessed with football may find their perfect match at the footy. It doesn't always happen that way, but if it did, it's not all bad. Once the couple grow out of football, their love for eachother will have moved way beyond that one common interest.

My love for Japan means that we have alot in common. If my perfect match had been caucasion, she would have had to share my love for Asia, Japanese culture and lifestyle and be interested in spending time in Japan....

Mixed relationships based solely on the colour of a person's skin - such as Japanese girls who have white boyfriends because they think they're cute with their blue eyes and blonde hair (yet they cannot communicate with eachother) are not necessarily going to be long lasting.

If you communicate with eachother, have common interests, enjoy similar lifestyles and make eachother happy - that's the recipe for success no matter what your culture may be.

Having said that... there are external influences at play which may be beyond your control.

1. Parents and grandparent : If they don't support your mixed relationship it can make for awkward family gatherings - or none at all. This could be a burden.

2. Religious differences : If you have differences in religion and culture - discuss them and ensure that they won't interfere with your future happiness - this is especially important when considering future children... Will they be say, Buddhist, Catholic or Jewish...or will you teach them about both.

3. Where will you live ? Japan ? Australia ? How long will that last ? Will one partner want to go home in 10 years time ? What will you do ?

and I'm sure there are plenty of other things to consider but it's 4am...so goodnight and good luck !

[marianar]

The strength of a marriage is up to you, whether it be intermarriage or of the same nationality. If this person makes you happy and visa versa no matter what people say, you have to make that choice. Be Happy.

[exported_kiwi]

Well, I'm still with my beautiful Chinese lady, the same one I've been with since we "hooked' up and although it's been a rocky road, we're still strong and together. We've had our problems....who doesn't, but really, in order to marry anyone, you have to have a level of maturity that allows for differences, whatever culture or religion.
Her parents love the hell outta me and I them, but they still harbour fears that I'll take their daughter away from them despite having bought a home in Guangzhou. Nope, I'm not married yet but I figure that this is the year to do so. I've known my lady for a long time now, we've lived together for a long time now and as a result, we know each other truly and once one can say this, and still love their partner, then one should know that marriage should be the result. She and I've discussed marriage, kids, her parents and where to live etc, and we're in agreement on these things. The only sticking point being schooling for the kids, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there!
peace y'all!

[mikeman400]

Originally Posted by jdarc

I am married to a Japanese woman, we have our problems but then again when I have had relationships in the past with English caucasian women I have had similar problems, basically men and women will never understand each other so you have to give and take.

So true! I had a Japanese girlfriend and we had problems. People told me it didn't work out because of culture / language differences. There were times when we didn't understand each other, but it wasn't because of language differences. It was almost always a Men vs Women thinking problem.

[REIANDY]

I think that love is love and it doesn't really matter about culture when you think about it because even people who are supposed to be from your own country have different values and cultural norms. I am from Los Angeles and frankly you'd be hard pressed to find a white bred American. My hubby dear is Chinese and I love him to death. The worst thing about it is that he's far a better choice as husband and father then any American man I dated.