The Funny, Crazy and Bizarre Things Students Say

[Motivated]

Thought this would be a great thread topic - all the unusual, strange and even downright bizarre comments students often come out with. I teach in a high school in Mongolia where the general level of English is strong. 3 years ago I started noting down all the funny comments that students come out with - from time to time I open up my little notebook and have a damned good laugh. It's gonna be great for memories in the years to come and you'll be surprised just how quickly a notebook fills up!

Here are just a few of my favourites:

1. "Of course I know the Rolling Stones. Jack Migger is the singer".

2. "Australia is an American country".

3. Idioms lesson question - What would you do if you had money to burn? A: "I'd burn it".

4.What do you think Mongolia will be like in 100 years' time? A: "We will all be monkeys because we are lazy people and we can't do anything for ourselves". (I kid you not, a true statement from an 8th grade boy)

5. (Same question as above) A: "I don't know, because I will be killed in a car accident before then". (10th grade boy, seemingly comfortable with the fate that awaits him)

6. (On Jack the Ripper - a case study I like to teach, and all the students absolutely dig it) Q: What was Jack the Rippers' motive for the killings? A: "Jack the Ripper killed the women because one night he went with a prostitute and the next day he felt ill, so he went to the doctor and the doctor said 'Jack, you have the AIDS disease" so he got really angry and decided to kill all the women" (I gave this kid an A for originality)

7.Who was the first man to walk on the moon? A: "Louie Armstrong".

8.What would you do if you were the president of the world? A: "I would remove China from the world map and I would have infinite girlfriends". (Mongolians are extremely prejudiced towards their southern neighbours).

9. "Sam, can I go to the toilet? I need to do Number 3's". What's Number 3's?? "It's both at the same time".

10. What do you like most about Mongolia? "We have so much beautiful wildlife, and you can go hunting for free".

Will post some more real soon!

[gfell]

Australia is an American country??? I also get answers quite of the tangent too with the Japanese. Some of the students I've taught have a very limited knowledge on the outside world.

Thanks for sharing.

[Motivated]

Here are a few more funnies!

1. What is Batman's real name?A: 'Ummm...Bruce!...Bruce Willis!'

2. Invent your own superhero: 'My superhero's name is Dog Boy. It's half man and half dog. Dog Boy lives on top of a mountain in a secret part of Mongolia. His normal job is bank manager'.

3. What man, probably the most famous in history, was born sometime around the year 0?A: 'Adam Sandler'

4. on famous people:'Some people are rich and famous, like actors. Some people are not famous - like poor broken scientists'.

5. What annoys you?A: My mother is annoyed when I pick my nose and when I don't wash my legs and it gets smelly down there'.

6. What do you do that annoys others?A: The unlucky man annoys others. I am an unlucky man. Sometimes the unlucky man breaks wind in class and I annoy others'.

7. Would you like to be the 1st person in space?A:'Of course I would because my family is so boring and I need some excitement in my life'.

8. On white liesA: 'I think it is okay to tell white lies. When my mother was pregnant she was a big fat pig. But I cannot say this to my mother so I said to her 'you look beautiful'. That is why it's good to tell white lies'.

9. what does Osama mean in English?A: 'Criminal'.

10. On school rules:We must not be slow, we must not run, we must not cry, we must not fight, we must not drink vodka'.