I'm in my first year of teaching English and I'm up in Inner Mongolia teaching at a University. My accommodation is on campus - special apartments for foreign teachers. The building also doubles as a hotel for foreign experts lecturing/working at the University temporarily. There are also a few offices for the Dean and Vice Dean of the department. On the first floor there is the office of the Foreign Languages Department and adjacent to it is the front desk.
My problem arises with some of the privacy issues I've been having. I am quite a bit younger, 22 and have found a 'girlfriend' since I've been here. Whenever she comes in she is required to sign a logbook, same with when she leaves. I understand this, it's useful to know who's coming and going for security purposes. But I recently discovered that she is not allowed to stay the night. I was unaware of this and so one night we decided she would stay over. Around 11 I received a phone call telling me that she had to leave. I was told that my students were not allowed to stay overnight. I informed the individual that she was not my student, nor a student at all for that matter. I was then told that no member of the opposite sex is allowed to stay in my room overnight. This became a problem because the door to her apartment is locked at 11 every night. So there was a period in which I pleaded (and so did she - she speaks Chinese, I don't) with the individual to allow her to stay as she had nowhere to go. This inevitably failed and also agitated the individual. I provided her some money to stay at a hotel for the night.
Now most everyone in the department knows I am involved with a girl and most have already formulated an opinion about her (a bad one), despite not even knowing her. This then reflects poorly on me.
I love teaching English and I work hard to give my students the best possible English training I can. I've adapted to most of the culture here and have even adopted a basic understanding of the language. I've made friends predominantly with Chinese people. I took a TEFL training course from a great teacher who had taught abroad for 10 years. He bestowed upon me a great deal of preparation for culture shock. But I was never prepared for this.
In fact, the doors to my apartment are locked at 11pm. Apparently, it is a 24 hour service apartment but I must wake up the hotel staff in order to get in. I feel bad for this and in turn the hotel staff resents me.
They tell me they're protecting me, I tell them I need a certain amount of freedom. I understand that there are different cultures and customs in China but shouldn't they also make some concessions to a foreign teacher understanding they're from a foreign (and libertarian, comparatively speaking) country. I am young and I don't think I should be expected to be in my room before a certain curfew. I also don't think my private life and private affairs should be scrutinized by the people I work for.
My question is as follows:
Is this normal? How have other people's experiences been in northern/mainland China. I don't mind adapting myself to follow the rules but preferably I know about them before I go ahead and break them
. I'm also the only one having these problems here as all of the other foreign teachers are quite a bit older and some of them married. In all honesty, I feel totally alone with no reference frame.