[Hypiereon]

Talk about them thinking our toilets are strange, myself and more than one foreigner have actually noticed shoe prints on the toilet seats at McDonalds. It's as if some Chinese person from the countryside walked into the place, saw the comode for the first time in their lives and thought, "Now what in hell is THAT?!"

Actually, that "Loos in China" picture is what you can expect at most of the middle/high schools in China - especially in the rural areas. It's a common "trench" that has been "divided" into stalls. You ride sideways over it, but the picture is accurate enough. Only difference in some of them is that some of them have tiles to cover that bare concrete. The toughest part about these types is that they can accumulate quite a "collection" in the trench even if the flush mechanism is working properly. The only real way to get the trench clean is to either dig it out or burn it out - though I'm afraid neither solution would actually make the place any cleaner.

Most of the univeristy toilets and restaurant toilets basically look like someone stole the "throne" and left a small basin in it's place. The basin is usually 4 - 6 inches deeper than the floor (just an estimate - never felt motivated to take an actual measurement of the thing) and about 1 1/2 feet in length - the hole is at one end of the basin, but for the life of me I can't figure out which way you're supposed to face! Do you back in like a western toilet or for a little added privcay do you face the wall? If it's a westerner doing the westerner thing the wrong way, it's funny to them - if it's a westerner apparently confused by the whole contraption and is stupidly facing a wall, then that's going to be funny to them, too. You have to understand that there's no real way to tell about this sort of thing because some of them have the little hole nearer the wall, some of them have the little hole nearer the door opening.
(If anyone can shed any light on this particular problem, please - don't!)

I just figure that if someone wants to take a gander he can take in a "full moon" 'cause I don't intend to sit there and pose with a stupid grin on my face if someone happens to look my way. I also figure its safer 'cause if I totally lose all feeling in my legs and can't move, I can at least reach over and grab the plumbing that's sticking out of the wall to hoist myself back out of "squat!"

The way I see it, if I'm working on an "Act of Congress" in the wrong end of the basin, then in my mind it only makes a more apt anaolgy to the whole process to begin with. The worst time ever to experience this comedic-tradgedy though has to be in the winter when that "cold, raw" smell settles like ice in the air and doesn't move. It's gut wrenching just to walk into the place, and no matter how many times you wash your hands afterward you still feel like the creepy-crawlies have jumped on board and are all over you making you feel dirtier for having been at all.

Foreigner I overheard at a restaurant once claimed to have dropped his passport down the drain once (it was in his pants pocket and slipped out) and just right then and there went and told the manager of the restaurant he'd been robbed while using the bathroom and that the theif got his wallet and passport. He said there was no way he was going fishing for it, nor would he have wanted it back in any case.

Even if it's just a tall tale, if it ever happened to me I now know exactly what I'd do.